I'm Adjusting, She's Adjusting

It was a bit of a rough week, but I'm doing better.....I talk/text with Gaby every day, she seems fine. No dorm mates yet....we don't know if it is due to the storm(s) or they both are just not coming......so Gaby has the dorm to herself so far. The campus is beautiful....brick buildings, old oak trees, fountains......there was just that moment when I had to leave to catch my flight back that I totally lost it......and then Gaby started crying to in response to me crying......boy, that was a tough few minutes, when I had to say "OK, I have to go.....bye honey, love you" and turn around and leave my daughter there.....I honestly don't think I had experienced anything that hard even in the passing of my parents....this was someone who I had brought into the world, watched grow up and was now not going to be a daily part of my life at home......I don't know where I pulled the strength together at that moment to walk to my car.....but I did.....and I fought back the urge to run right back in there. I sat for a moment, talked to my husband on the phone and drove off. Phew! I would have felt better if there had been a dorm mate or two, just so I wasn't leaving her alone, but Gaby has always been very independant, and I think she was relishing having the dorm to herself...
I had some long delays on the way home, both due to weather and mechanical issues, and didn't get home until 1am. The campus was being used as a shelter for evacuees, and probably will again this week. It is inland enough (6 hours north of New Orleans) that it is not in immediate danger from the hurricanes. The area was already full of evacuees Friday night, when we discovered our hotel was a complete dud and could not transfer anywhere else as they were all booked.
I feel a lot better now, she sounds good, all grown up.....classes have started, so she is becoming busy. I will plan for her travel home for the holidays....

College Time

Today is the day I take my oldest daughter to college in Louisiana.......I figured I would be pretty torn up when it was time to say goodbye, before I headed back to Tampa, but it has been really hard this morning, looking at her room all emptied out, and the suitcases piled up in the foyer......I've had this person in my everyday life for 18 1/2 years, not I will not be part of her daily life, and she will not be a part of mine....physically speaking anyway. I will not hear the pounding sounds of her music resonating from her room, or see the little drawings she does around the house, or hear her argue with her younger siblings......a major component of my daily life will be missing. I am so proud of her, and I am happy she is doing what she is doing, but it is so hard to see things change in this way. I guess I have gained a new respect for my parents in feeling a little bit of what they felt when my brother and I left the house. There is just no easy way to say goodbye to a child, knowing that when they come back to visit, it will be just that, a visit, and they will change in ways you won't realize until you see them again....growing up, maturing, gaining Independence...and you will not have been a part of thoses changes as you have been for so long......they will come from your child, and the other influences around her. I guess grown ups keep growing up too.